Solid Cold: Why it beats the heat

Living in southern California gives me a pretty limited array of weather conditions. It ranges from hot to cold and occasionally rainy. That's not much to work with, although I find that I usually prefer the cold to heat for a number of reasons. Here is my list of why the hot sun can shove it and jack frost can stick around.

1) Intimacy

    I don't ever remember huddling in a circle to keep cool. The act of trying to keep warm brings people closer while giving them all something to have in common. Also, for guys this is a shoe in for getting some frozen girl into your arms. "You know, skin to skin contact increases body heat." Shazaam you got laid.

2) Fashion

    Layer after layer help us to stay warm in the cold. Especially if you work a job that involves formal wear, you aren't going to want to put on your slacks and jacket when it's 97º outside. A nice heavy jacket, some gloves, a hat and pants keep you warm and let you look good. Good jackets aren't cheap so having an excuse to wear them is always a plus.

3) Drinks

     What is better on a cold day than a hot chocolate? or a coffee? Nothing, that's what. Just the feeling of hot liquid warming the walls of your stomach makes your day that much better. Not to mention the same reaction to alcohol. Yes, alcohol increases the rate of heat loss in people, but the burn when it goes down is nothing short of comforting, that is, unless you're freezing and some St. Bernard is shoving brandy down your throat, then you're screwed.

4) Getting Warm

     Yes, even though the heat is the scapegoat in this rant, most pleasure in low temperatures comes from the act of trying to stay warm. Walking into a room that has had a heater going for hours, or sitting next to a fire feels orgasmic and causes a breath of relief almost 99% of the time.

5) Breathing

     Seeing my own breath has probably entertained me every winter of my childhood..... ok it still does. Isn't it awesome though? Something that looks like smoke is coming out of your mouth constantly and you don't have to do a thing. For smokers this is even cooler since every exhale of your cigarette makes you feel like a small, fleshy dragon. Now don't tell me you've never purposely exhaled heavily just to look at your smokey stink breath, smokers and non-smokers alike.

6) Gatherings

     Ever do nothing on a rainy day? Lots of people do. It gives you a feeling of bliss like you don't have a care in the world. I've probably played more board games or watched more movies with friends and family on cold or rainy days than any other kind of day. Everyone wants to be indoors and it gives everyone an excuse to hang out together, because we all know no one really likes each other.

7) Chivalry

     We all know it's dead, there is no denying it. Although, how can we men have a chance to show it's still slightly alive besides opening a sea of doors for women? It's easy.... women get cold easily, men have large jackets. I think you can figure this one out.

Now I know my perfectly persuasive words have everyone aiming their government's weapons at the sun but don't misunderstand. My perfect day is slightly overcast with the sun lighting the clouds like a giant softbox with a cool breeze.

I think I'm destined to live in the mountains..... or the East.