Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Zach and Miri make bum porn

So i finally saw zach and miri make a porno, which i didnt think i would ever see....but i did. But i must say i really really liked it alot. good story and some people said it moved to slow or dwelled on certain parts of the film but i thought it was very good. One complaint i heard about "BE Kind Rewind"(cause i didnt see it myself) was that it didnt have enough scenes of them making the movies, it was mainly showing how jack black became magnetic. But Zach and Miri had like 25 minutes of them thinking of porno names, which i might add are all original and dont dip into my elementary school ages when me and my friends would make up all the cliche porno parody titles. But long story short, its a good movie. go see it. and if you dont like it you have no soul and should be sterilized......or maybe you just like different kinds of movies.
oh, and one thing that bugged me. Jason Mewes who always plays Jay from jay and silent bob, and who played Lester in this movie, whats the hell is up with his teeth?! i mean, ive seen clerks and clerks II and dogma and Jay and silent bob strike back and his teeth dont look as funky as they do in this movie. it was really bugging me.

Saturday, November 1, 2008


I sitting at my front door as i write this since i am handing out candy for the peeps from the neighborhood(and hawaiin gardens). There's nothing i hate more than a smart ass kid.....
(mike presses the fog machine button)
Kid dressed as Star Wars clone: Is there a button for that smoke?
Mike: Yes
Clone: where's the button?
Mike: it's a secret button
Clone: can i press it?
Mike: no its a secret
Clone: where is it?
Mike: its underground, in a coffin
Clone: no it's not
Mike:(in head) i hate you
[i am wearing my hockey mask with bullet holes and blood on it]
a second Clone asks: Why is there blood on your face?
Mike: Because im DEAD!
Clone1: no you're not
Clone2: how do you make that smoke?!
Mike:(cheering up) it's MAGIC smoke!
back to Clone1: No it's not, you can buy that in stores
Mike: (in head) fuck you
Clone: make it smoke again
Mike: i can't it has to warm up
Clone: the fog has to warm up?
Clone: well do it i want to see it
Mike: (pressing button)....it's not ready yet...oh there it goes(fog up kids face)
now the kid is just standing there....his parents are waiting at the foot of my driveway and his 3 friends already got the candy and left.
Clone: i wanna stand in the fog, i cant see anything
Clone Father: cmon (clone) lets go
kid finally leaves and i punch myself in the balls to sterilize myself.
i hope my kids arent jackasses