Thursday, December 25, 2008


Holy crap. what a great christmas eve!
i had work at 11, whatever. but then my whole family sat down and ate a duck dinner. it was just like the scene from A Christmas Story when they go to the chinese restaurant....only we made it ourselves. THEN we all played catch and my sis won. that was followed by xmas and my mom worked my sis and dad. After that we opened our stockings, oncley tradition for xmas eve night. i got a lot of air fresheners since apparently i smell in every aspect of life. Then we all sat down by the fire and watched A Christmas Story, it was a toss up between that, Home Alone, and Meet Me In St. Luis. Now im in bed watching adult swim and on my laptop. too good. and tomorrow i get REAL gifts. sa-weet.
i feel like the cleavers! well.....the cleavers on the verge of 2009.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Zach and Miri make bum porn

So i finally saw zach and miri make a porno, which i didnt think i would ever see....but i did. But i must say i really really liked it alot. good story and some people said it moved to slow or dwelled on certain parts of the film but i thought it was very good. One complaint i heard about "BE Kind Rewind"(cause i didnt see it myself) was that it didnt have enough scenes of them making the movies, it was mainly showing how jack black became magnetic. But Zach and Miri had like 25 minutes of them thinking of porno names, which i might add are all original and dont dip into my elementary school ages when me and my friends would make up all the cliche porno parody titles. But long story short, its a good movie. go see it. and if you dont like it you have no soul and should be sterilized......or maybe you just like different kinds of movies.
oh, and one thing that bugged me. Jason Mewes who always plays Jay from jay and silent bob, and who played Lester in this movie, whats the hell is up with his teeth?! i mean, ive seen clerks and clerks II and dogma and Jay and silent bob strike back and his teeth dont look as funky as they do in this movie. it was really bugging me.

Saturday, November 1, 2008


I sitting at my front door as i write this since i am handing out candy for the peeps from the neighborhood(and hawaiin gardens). There's nothing i hate more than a smart ass kid.....
(mike presses the fog machine button)
Kid dressed as Star Wars clone: Is there a button for that smoke?
Mike: Yes
Clone: where's the button?
Mike: it's a secret button
Clone: can i press it?
Mike: no its a secret
Clone: where is it?
Mike: its underground, in a coffin
Clone: no it's not
Mike:(in head) i hate you
[i am wearing my hockey mask with bullet holes and blood on it]
a second Clone asks: Why is there blood on your face?
Mike: Because im DEAD!
Clone1: no you're not
Clone2: how do you make that smoke?!
Mike:(cheering up) it's MAGIC smoke!
back to Clone1: No it's not, you can buy that in stores
Mike: (in head) fuck you
Clone: make it smoke again
Mike: i can't it has to warm up
Clone: the fog has to warm up?
Clone: well do it i want to see it
Mike: (pressing button)'s not ready yet...oh there it goes(fog up kids face)
now the kid is just standing there....his parents are waiting at the foot of my driveway and his 3 friends already got the candy and left.
Clone: i wanna stand in the fog, i cant see anything
Clone Father: cmon (clone) lets go
kid finally leaves and i punch myself in the balls to sterilize myself.
i hope my kids arent jackasses

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I Am Legend

Holy crap. i finally saw I Am Legend today....well, i didnt see it from the beginning but i started only about 10 minutes in so it still counts!
I thought it was a good movie, i heard some opinions on it and majority were negative. But it was sweeeeeeeeeet. But the main reason i write was for the fucking fist clenching tear jerking dog scene. Holy crap, if you know me you know i love dogs but this was just too much! If you havent seen this movie stop reading: but the scene were his dog gets the virus and he is singing to him fucking got to me! oh man. The dog just saved the guys life, there was a knife in will smiths leg and two(or three) infected dogs are about to attack him and his fucking dogs SAVES HIS LIFE! and gets mauled in the process. So will smith injects the dog with the "cure" and holds him and starts to sing to him. This guy has been alone for years and years with his only friend being this dog who has helped him out since day one. Its dying in his arms and slowly turning into a blood thirsty creature. As will smith is singing he notices the dogs hair starts to fall out, his eyes start becoming bloodshot and veiny and veins run through his gums and start to turn his teeth a yellowy color. Right after this the dog starts to snap at will smith, his friend who he has loved for years! The camera zooms into will smiths face with tears running down and a look of stress in his face, you hearing whimpering and whining. He is strangling the only friend he has had in this world of infected creatures. he talks to his dog, he risked his own life to save the dog and now the dog risked his to save will smiths. as he strangles his now infected friend you hear little dog toe nails clicking on the hard floor of the lab they are in, im fucking glued to my seat. this is so depressing to hear this, a sound i attach to my own dogs running indoors is now the sound of a once passionate creature gripping onto the last breath of life it has. then he lets go of the dog and it is dead. he has now lost everything in life he cared about. holy shit.
don't ever make me kill my dog

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Doesn't it feel great

Im sitting in my garage watching a thin red piece of paper dry onto a silk screen and i couldnt be happier. This has to be the best time of the year when the shift from hot to nice and breezy comes through. I didnt work today, and i dont go to my normal job for an entire week, i have some art projects to do, im all caught up on my school work at the moment, the job that i AM going to throughout the week starts at 9 am so i can stay out late and sleep in (8:30 is sleeping in for me), and all of this put together makes me feel fucking amazing. Also since my tape deck and CD player is broken in my car i have been listening to KRTH 101 which is just the greatest radio station ever and plays songs that only add to my euphoria.

Maybe this is why i like halloween so much, it just FEELS good outside. Then comes thanksgiving, where i get to hangout with my entire family and my bands CD comes out, and then xmas which is just plain groovy. The days are on a roll.

viva la vida

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Fuck fuck Rite-Aid

taking pictures is fun but there always seems to be something that goes wrong in the developing stage.
At noon today I headed over to the Rite Aid/One Hour photo near my house to drop off some film. Im excited about the film because i bought new lomo film with brighter colors and used Danny's fisheye camera AND all the pics are from my friends surprise birthday party which was neat-o. I tell the kid behind the counter im hear to develop and he directs me towards the envelopes. I fill one out and hand him the envelope and the film. shazaam, awesome, now it just come back in an hour and everything is gravy. right?
i end up getting busy at home and go back at 4pm. When i come back a different guy is working. He obviously does not speak english with ease. I tell him im there to pick up film, after some confusion he realizes what i need. He asks my last name,
"Oncley....O-N-C(my norm for giving out my name)"
"This one?" He holds up 'Phinley'
"This one?" He holds up 'McCain,'
"(holy shit)No Oncley"
"What letter does it start with?"
"There is no O in here, when did you drop it off?"
"well it will be here wednesday"
"Aren't you one-hour photo?"
(he points to the chart of drop off and arrival dates)
he asks "did you do digital or film"
"film" and i grab an envelope from the stack that i had used earlier.....
What had happened was little newbie kid from 12 o'clock slid me a 3-day photo service envelope, which i might add had no "3-DAY YOU DUMBASS" written on it, and i DID look for it since i turned another rite-aid down 2 days ago for their 3-day service since their 1-hour machine was broken.
well i problem, i lost a day. Ill take it back and go somewhere tomorrow or tonight.
"Can i just get my film back?"
"We already sent it out"
(head explodes), and unfortunately the smarty working behind the counter thought it was monday(it's tuesday) and it will actually be ready thursday. awesome. wonderful. great.
oh, and to top it off, during our one sided conversation, some old dude sets his vodka down on the photo counter in front of me. Im sorry sir, vodka gets developed at the other registers....i guess he was in a hurry to get drunk.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

I feel you ladies

Sunday morning at It's A Grind isn't the most eventful of times. Thus, i usually have my laptop with me or a magazine or some strange thing to do other than work. Well as you can tell i did bring my laptop, but also in another strange turn of events, a semi-harmless prank of someone putting tape on my arm turned into an hour long ordeal of tape waxing the rest of my right arm. As of now i have a patchy quilt of hair holding on for dear life to my raspberry tinted arm.

I now understand what women go through to look good for us men. I know im not getting both my legs or my cooter waxed but i could translate the pain.

Thank you ladies.

oh, and I do plan on having the girls at work finish the job, but just leave it at the right arm exclusively. 

also.....just because i feel the pain doesn't mean i saying girls should stop. no one likes the Cousin It look. haha just kidding....but seriously.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

FTSK full length

I just bought Forever The Sickest Kids album "Underdog Alma Mater."

While skimming through the cd i realized a way to save money, just buy one FTSK song from iTunes, and slow it down and speed it up.....and thats the album.

At least Family Guy is on. oh, and i bought the new Jack Johnson, hell yea.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Old man Oncley

I've known for a while that im turning into al old man by the things i wear and how i act.... but today tops.

I've been collecting the US Quarters since they first came out and i am almost completed. Now they came out with those damn Presidential gold dollars and i was collecting them normally until today. The Sunday paper had an article about how the US treasury is releasing a golden dollar holder and if you buy it ($18) they'll send you the 4 golden dollars that are currently released in mint condition for free! So there was a number and a code to give when you i do it.

I get through and after giving all my info she asks if i'd like to stay subscribed to the mint to get the new golden dollars when they come out each month. FUCK! So tantalizing... so after about 2 minutes of "ummms" and "hmmmms" i just give in and i say OK.

Now, like a lonely old man with nothing to do, im subscribed to receive golden dollars every month. Im a sucker for collectables and it's like a drug. So bad yet soooo good.

Maybe when i get the damn thing ill feel better about it.

Thursday, April 24, 2008


they are building a new bingo club on Norwalk where the old home depot used to be. All the migrant workers are still standing around that area and they look pissed, and not because they destroyed the home depot they used to wait in front of, but because they didn't hire them to build the new bingo club.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Mike's Coffee Etiquette

As most of you know, iI work at a coffee shop. I work at It's A Grind pretty much every morning from 5am to whenever. I get the privelage of seeing many different kinds of people and experiencing their personalities. Although this sounds like sugar and rainbows it can be a bit daunting.

I come to see many habits and traits that customers have that are a little less than appealing, especially to someone who is about to make something that will go in your mouth. Here is a not-so-short list of my pet peeves of annoying customers at It's A Grind:

Monday, April 14, 2008

Manchester Orchestra

Awesome awesome awesome... here's a crappy pic

MO did great as expected, and even though Say Anything was the headliner, their sound quality was boo boo. Me and Ryan couldn't tell what was going on half the time with their songs.

Wow, i just realized Manchester Orchestras abbreviation is my initials. weird.

Also i have decided that blogs are better than bulletins, because bulletins my last for a week, but blogs last a lifetime.

Ps: i was curious so I looked up what blog stood for...since i knew vlog was "video log"....turns out it's "web log"....get it? "web log" Psshhh, some lazy bum thought of dont see me turning "underwear" into "derwear."

I think I'll keep web log.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Watching Fuse

While watching Fuse music videos, i've come to the conclusion that no one tries anymore to make music videos.

I'm sure they spent millions and went on location and used the best camera and video effects money could buy, but the writing for the whole video sucks. The sad part is i realized this after watching only TWO videos.

The first video is Seether "Rise Above This"

If you have seen it, or you jus watch is a TOTAL rip off of Simple Plans video for "Untitled"

WATCH IT (embedding disabled)

Someone dies or gets hurt and it effects their whole family.....All Seether('s director) did was change it from a car crash to a suicide. It EVEN involved the same family memebers being airborne.

I understand the singer of seethers brother commited suicide and thats what the song is about, but music videos are starting to lack creative genius.
Which brings me to my next point.....

This has to be the dumbest music video i've ever watched. I couldn't finish watching it, maybeyou can. Plus the verses sound like someone learning guitar, hell i play drums and i can figure that one out. yikes.

WATCH IT (embedding disabled)

what is happening? go watch the video for Guster's "satelite" or something that makes you think like Brand New "Sic Transit..."

well im late to get my laptop fixed.....

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Dirty skin

In the past week i've realized there was no valid reason to change my clothes. I didn't go out, i didn't sweat, i didn't move, i didn't do anything pretty much. The only reason i had to change them was going to dinner last night.

It's sad.

Maybe i'll just use shirt in a can.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

and the monkeys stole the police car....

Wow wow wow. I was doing my daily routine of grabbing the remote and starting at 340 (HBO) and working my way up. After browsing through movie after movie that i have never even heard of, i saw a familiar title....Jumanji. Click bang boom im watching it, and best thing is it JUST started. I haven't seen it in a while so im very intrigued. So the movie starts and I CANT LOOK AWAY! Its starting to scare me at the magnetism this movie has with my face. Plus, it wasn't like i had nothing to do today, i was actually waiting for a good spot to stop watching so i could pick up some paint i was planning on getting....but that NEVER HAPPENED. I ended up watching until the very end of it at 3:15. and it was AWESOME. Oh man, i want to watch it right now! With Van Pelt and the alligators and the stampede and the old bike and the sneaker! Oh dang and remember the part when little Kirsten Dunst gets shot in the neck with the poisonous needles, MAN WHAT A GOOD MOVIE! thats all. Afterwards i got my paint.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Ouch Glasses

Some people know that while on the recent digital donation tour i broke my glasses. Well not really broke them, but i managed to yank them off my face with a drum stick while in the middle of a song, throwing them into the line of fire of Ryan's hard steps and dance moves. When i got them back after the song the left.....thing....that goes over your ear, was bent straight down forming my glasses into a weird zig zag type design, which i quickly bent back into shape. Well last night while i watched The Whitest Kids You Know for the first time (holy shit hilarious), i fell asleep with my glasses on and woke up at 3am to the sound of my TV. I saw my glasses weren't next to the bed where i always put them. So by instinct i thought that someone broke into my house and stole them along with my TV. Well my TV was still there so that ruled that out. I searched through the covers of my bed to find my pair of glasses slightly bent which is a normal occurrence,
"I'll just bend them back like i do everyday" followed by a quiet snap. My glasses now have the ability to pivot up and down on the left side of my face. At least i can still wear them, they are quite a bit too loose now though. Just don't be surprised if i bust out my Dad's old sunglass strap, you know the one's everyone had in the ninety's.