Halloween

I sitting at my front door as i write this since i am handing out candy for the peeps from the neighborhood(and hawaiin gardens). There's nothing i hate more than a smart ass kid.....

(mike presses the fog machine button)

Kid dressed as Star Wars clone: Is there a button for that smoke?

Mike: Yes

Clone: where's the button?

Mike: it's a secret button

Clone: can i press it?

Mike: no its a secret

Clone: where is it?

Mike: its underground, in a coffin

Clone: no it's not

Mike:(in head) i hate you

[i am wearing my hockey mask with bullet holes and blood on it]

a second Clone asks: Why is there blood on your face?

Mike: Because im DEAD!

Clone1: no you're not

Clone2: how do you make that smoke?!

Mike:(cheering up) it's MAGIC smoke!

back to Clone1: No it's not, you can buy that in stores

Mike: (in head) fuck you

Clone: make it smoke again

Mike: i can't it has to warm up

Clone: the fog has to warm up?

Mike:......yes

Clone: well do it i want to see it

Mike: (pressing button)....it's not ready yet...oh there it goes(fog up kids face)

now the kid is just standing there....his parents are waiting at the foot of my driveway and his 3 friends already got the candy and left.

Clone: i wanna stand in the fog, i cant see anything

Clone Father: cmon (clone) lets go

kid finally leaves and i punch myself in the balls to sterilize myself.

i hope my kids arent jackasses