Castholes

Sometimes I wonder where professional casting agents get the balls to cast certain people in movies.

While sitting in the San Jose Cabo airport and eating a $72 sandwich I was watching TV. A movie came on that I hadn't seen. Max Payne. I played the video game briefly and ogled at the billboards for the final game. What I want to know is, who cast Mark Wahlberg and thought to themselves, "Yea, this guy is totally Max Payne."

Wrong

Even if you weren't a Max Payne fan or even if you've never heard of the game, you can see where I'm coming from. Max Payne is a tall, thin, dark haired detective with chiseled features. I know, it's a video game and they can make him look how they want, but Marky Mark is a short, stalky, light haired guy with a round head and a big nose. There are so many more actors that could have played the role as the dark detective.

Jon Hamm

This guy is cool! Hamm plays Don Draper on Mad Men. We know he's a good actor, we know he looks good in a suit, and we know he's got Paynes features down to the squinty eyes. Definitely my #1 choice.

Thomas Jane

This guy is rad too! Just because the Punisher was so-so doesn't mean we need to shun him.

Danny Devito

Ok that one was a joke, but I really don't like Mark Wahlberg in that roll. Don't get me wrong, I love him in most other movies, but I feel like you can't just stick a descent actor in movies and expect them to bring an audience. Plus, Mila Kunis was in that as some Russian chick or something..... in black leather and dark lipstick. WTF? You know when you see a person and think, "boy, they look like they'd be mean/nice/sweet/dumb." Well you can't stick a sweet looking person into a mean persons role. A science of a sort; it's closer to common sense I think. Why do you think Batman & Robin sucked so bad(besides the writing)? Clooney makes a great smart-ass millionaire, but as a kick ass crime-fighter, I don't think so.

I didn't finish Max Payne since I had to get on my flight but the first 20 min was enough.

There are plenty more tall, dark and Payne-y actors out there that could be in the running too, but I don't have time to name all of them. Just be certain it won't contain the words Mark, or Wahlberg.