Monday, November 3, 2014

Mike Oncley's Tales of Horror Part 4


Electric Eat 1964
by Robert Indiana

In 1964, before the zombie fad
There was an army of zombies Robert Indiana had
They lived on his ranch, and had space to run
Each one of them felt to be Robs daughter or son
He fed them and bathed them and cared for them deeply
He didn’t find these rotting corpses creepy
Night and day he would tend to their needs
Early morning runs and late night feeds
They say when you love someone, to let them be free
So that’s what he did when he got out his key
He unlocked the door and showed them the way
To freedom of choice, but the zombies didn’t obey
They just seemed confused, looking for a meal
No motivation to gather, none to steal
Roberts training had failed, they were used to being fed
So he constructed a sign that would help out the dead
A reminder to EAT, yes EAT everything
"Get it yourself, there is no food I will bring”
So the living dead feasted and bit and chewed
The living ran in terror as the dead did pursue
Keeping in mind to keep that sign in view
or else they may forget what to do
After weeks of feasting on animal entrails
Robert Indiana was shocked at all the killing this entailed
"I fed you grains and legumes and soy!
I never wanted death when my zombies were deployed"
So he quickly ran to the source of their thoughts
A brightly lit EAT, burning at 3 million WATTS
He then bent down to the lower left side
and loosened some bulbs to loosen the zombie's pride
FAT the sign read, “You’re all getting fat!
Put down those brains and eat healthy snacks"
The zombies were outraged, betrayed by their father
“We can’t fight our instincts, don’t be a bother!”
Thus began the great zombie migration
Greatly offended, they headed to the train station
“But where will you go?” asked Robert in confusion
“Maybe the woods, to scare kids who are boozin
or to the snow to leap out at campers
or maybe the desert to party with the vampires”
With a whistle and steam, the locomotive was gone
When Robert got home, the lights were still on
He unplugged the sign, ashamed at his ignorance
forever saddened by the absence within his fence
It wasn't till ’07 that Robert fixed the sign
Tightened the bulbs and brought it inside
Facing his window he hoped it’d be seen
and that his zombie family would return home, to EAT

by Mike Oncley


Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

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