My Beef, with Beef

I am against beef.

I don't care about cows rights or any junk like that, but I've gotten questions as to why I don't eat beef and here are the reasons:



1. By Land - Cows are gross, really. They eat so much food just to get as big as they are, then they shit all over the place. I know manure is good for your grass, but when it sits on the dirt in layer upon layer of more poop it starts to poison the soil and make it unusable.

2. By Sea - After a good rain or enough pee, that depleted soil leaks its doody poison into the nearest water supply.

3. By Air - With all that eating, these cows fart a lot. A whole lot. They spew out gasses like a small car, and with thousands of these beasts standing side to side on big beef farms, the gas can accumulate and create toxic smog. The organic cows that are fed whole grains and fresh vegetables are even worse, with higher amounts of gas tunneling out of their cow holes.

My main idea is to just try and get fewer cows to eat up our world. I have stopped buying beef in hopes to lower the demand and thusly lower the supply. I buy one less steak from a restaurant, they sell one less than normal, they buy one less than normal, the factory makes one less than normal and the cows die at a slower rate, lessening the need for another cow on the farm. That's my idealistic idea of the whole thing and maybe if I do it long it enough it can come to fruition.

Will I eat beef? Of course! Beef is delicious. I mean really, really good. My main goal is to lower the demand. If the beef has been purchased already, then I'm all in. There's nothing I could do to stop the purchase now, might as well join in the fun. But if I'm eating out or planning to make something, I avoid beef as much as possible. Should I just be eating even more beef just so there are less living cows at the present time? No, it's all supply and demand.

Dairy farms are another story, and I don't think being a barista helps the situation either.

Will the world end because we eat cows? No. Will everyone die from poisoned water? No.
All it is, is nasty. Cows are nasty leather bags full of shit that produce some tasty meats at one point in their lives.

I'll stick with my bacon wrapped turkey burger for now, but if you happen to already be throwing an all-you-can-eat steak contest, I'm in.