This is where I work

Mustache

It's not easy folks. After my first 8 day stretch I decided to shave mine.

The Black Cows

The Black Cows - Steak & Cheese

Digital
by Mike Oncley

Oncley Roulette

I'm an asshole

To my bike buddies

Today etsy is celebrating National Bike to Work Day by having the featured items on their home page have something to do with bikes.

Very cool wall clock and pockets to add to your bike. enjoy

and if you're bored you can go to my etsy page

Steampunk

So I guess the movies I like have a name. While browsing Etsy for motorcycle goggles I noticed a large amount of "steampunk" accessories. I figured it was a brand or a certain merchant on the site. Digging deeper I realized that it was the actual style of the glasses. For those of you like me, who have never heard of "steampunk" before, I'm sure you've seen it before.

Peter B. Dias 1919-2010

RIP Uncle Pete

You will be missed

I'm an asshole

Daisy Stems

Hi! What happened?


It was unbelievable. These guys jumped me. They tried to get these flowers. I got 'em for you. It's kind of a traditional date deal.


Yeah, I've heard of that. What were they?


Couple of dozen roses.


Look like daisy stems.


What? That guy gypped me. He put daisy stems on my roses!

Poople friendly

While watching a fellow employee scoop raisins into a plastic container, i looked at the bag and noticed the image on the bag clearly depicted raisins as well as grapes. This is obvious because raisins come from grapes. Then I thought about grape juice, very delicious and good for you, but is there raisin juice? No thats stupid, why would you dry something out and then expect to make juice from it..... oh wait.

PRUNE JUICE! Prunes are dried out plums. So why would you name a liquidy drink after the dried up fruit that the drink actually comes from? This stuff should have been named Plum Juice from day one. Doesn't that sound more appetizing? I want some friggin plum juice right now. Look at the bottle, there are plums on the label! Not prunes, plums. Not even both prunes & plums, just straight up, juice filled plums. Also, what if I want to enjoy some delicious plum juice as one would enjoy some grape juice or apple juice? You cant do it. Once anyone sees you buying prune juice at Ralphs they think, "boy, that guy needs to shit." "Oh it seems to not be scanning. *loudspeaker* price check on prune juice. price check on prune juice, this guy must be pretty backed up and needs to clear his pipes." followed by me grabbing the mic and trying to convince the store that i just like the taste.

I have devised a plan to make a business out of selling Plum Juice. It'll have Welches running for their money because it will allow all the closet plum lovers to finally enjoy their drink in public. The same goes for you delicious fiber breakfast bars. We get it, you have fiber in you. You don't need to put "FIBER!" across the label. Why not just call it "AWESOME BAR (with fiber)"? 

Because if I want to enjoy my awesome bar and plum juice in the morning, I don't need people to automatically assume I'll be taking a fat dump in 3 hours.

Adventures in Dip

Me and Ryan have never done dip before, but he got a bunch to pass out at his job with Camel. I don't recommend it.

Happy Mothers Day!

Handy work

See my hands on the current Cobra Starship tour. Shipped these suckers out to DC the other day as a merch table prop. A follow up to my 3Oh3! hands from a last month.

Notes of a Mad Man III

I'll only give you this warning once because you should have already figured it out by now. Don't take the bus. Don't even sit near the bus stop! It's bad for your health.

Ever notice that big hiss sound when a city bus stops to pick up a group of people? That isn't the bus taking a sigh of relief for finally coming to a stop, that's it releasing its chemicals into our lungs. Buses travel all over the city and deal with thousands of people every day making it the perfect carrier for biological attack. Mind you, this isn't an attack from an outside source but from your own city! I haven't quite figured out what they are releasing exactly but I know nothing good will ever come from it.

Think about it, what else has that big release of "air?" Trains and big riggs, both of which travel all across the US to make "shipments," but we know what they are really up to. Last year on my annual road trip to Roswell I stopped at a gas station and tried to disassemble a truckers chemical release box. They must have had the whole truck under surveillance because the driver came running out of the Quick Stop cursing at me; fortunately my home black ops training helped me elude him.

In another instance I spoke to a trucker first hand at the Norms down the street. I asked him why he doesn't think for himself and disassemble the chemical release valve. He assured me that the sound I was hearing was some hydraulic something or other for the breaks and disassembling it would cause him to not be able to stop effectively. How convenient. "Oh no, don't take that out or I'll crash!" Im sure. Even if that was true I'd rather save the millions of people in our country.

Take my words to heart and avoid any public transportation, and not just using it, avoid it completely!

You've been warned

Mr. X

Motion Theory

Last night I was the photographer for the 10th anniversary party for Motion Theory (the minds behind such videos as Weezer's "Pork and Beans," Fergie's HP commercial and way more) in Venice Beach.

The night included gambling for charity, a mexican taco stand, a dance show from the alternate Motion Theory from AZ, a raffle for charity with amazing prizes, a live art installation, awesome music via the live DJ and tons and tons of free booze.

Click photo to see more

Highland & Ponce

HighlandAndPonce.com